Dating someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be immensely satisfying in the beginning – there is a lot of intense passion, excitement, and interesting conversation. However, once the person’s BPD symptoms starts to manifest, reality strikes and you may realize that you are in for more than you bargained for.
If you took the step of breaking up with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, it may have been a difficult decision. Just because you decided to end your relationship doesn’t mean you didn’t have strong feelings for the person. But if their unpredictable mood swings and outbursts of anger were a huge source of stress for you, it was probably the best thing for you to do.
Coping with the End of a BPD Relationship
While you’ve set yourself free from a destructive relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder, it may be a little hard to totally detach yourself from the person. After all, they were an important part of your life for however long you were with them.
Are you or a loved one struggling with emotions that feel out of control? Have you been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? No matter what type of treatment you need, Clearview Women’s Center can help. With residential, day, and outpatient treatment programs for women with BPD, Clearview is proud to be one of the only Borderline Personality Disorder treatment centers in the country that offers a complete continuum of care.
Clearview’s experienced intake counselors will help determine which treatment options is best for you. A team of experts will put together an individualized treatment plan focused on your specific needs. Call (866) 756-8819 now or complete the form below to get started on your path to recovery.
However, time and a few attitudinal changes should help you cope with the break up. Here are four beliefs that will help you get unstuck and move on from your relationship.
- There may have been nothing you could do. People who date someone with BPD often feel they’re the cause of the problems when things don’t go right. Similarly, after the break up, you will likely feel that if you had tried harder, you could have saved the relationship. But that is often not the case. Specific thought and behavioral patterns associated with BPD develop in late adolescence and persist throughout life. It is unlikely someone with BPD will change unless they get BPD treatment. Even if you had bent over backwards, your relationship likely wouldn’t have improved.
- Don’t think things can go back to normal. Oftentimes when relationships end, there’s the hope partners will get back together at some point down the road. But you shouldn’t bank on a reunion with a BPD individual. Your former partner is not going to change unless they receive BPD treatment. So abandon hope and try to look out for yourself so that you get your needs met.
- Cut off contact. A person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder can experience depression and anger when a relationship ends. In fact, they might develop a feeling of hostility toward you. It’s possible they will try to get back in touch with you to vent their anger and frustration. While you may be tempted to believe it’s your duty to help them out, it isn’t. Reconnection may spur another set of emotional issues, so back off. The break up might have triggered their anger, but it is rooted in their BPD symptoms and there’s very little you can do to be helpful.
- Rebuild your life. Individuals with BPD often fill an emotional void in their partner’s life. With their charm and undivided attention, you may have felt exceedingly happy when the relationship was going well. With the source of fulfillment gone, you may feel empty, which can make it more difficult to move on. You need to figure out why you feel that void. Perhaps, it would help if you developed a few interests. Maybe you never really gave the time to figure out what you wanted to do in life? This is a good time to start answering these questions, build a life for yourself, and move on.